Over the past year I’ve had a lot of different and new experiences. These things that have happened lead me to wonder what would I of done had I known this when I was younger. I feel it is important to keep it real so to speak so here is my “therapeutic” way of letting go of the “what ifs” and embracing what lies ahead.
I know you have been having a tough go adjusting to the changes in your life. But I want you to know that everything turns out all right. You learn that being blood doesn’t make you family, and while it saddens you at first, you are ultimately better off. You can stop stressing yourself and making yourself sick over people who don’t want to help his/her own self. You did all you could.
You found out life is really worth living and while you will always deal with major depression you have again found joys in life. You can feel again. You have siblings, and I don’t mean one, you have four and you love them dearly. This will bring much joy to your life. Crazy, hectic, joy lol.
Boys, boys, boys. While I wish I could save you from this pain I think it is necessary for you to go through. This allows you to find yourself by understanding the person you do not want to be, and what you will not settle for in life or love. It is a long journey but one with a number of unique memories that help shape the person you become.
You finally make your way to college. You get your own place, you connect with people, you write again. You no longer constantly worry about needing to feel safe. You no longer have to stretch out meals.
You understood that suffering now would allow you to do the things you wanted to do later, and while you wish it was sooner you are glad that it still happened and you take each day as a day you can breathe a little freer. You made it.
Always remember you are tougher than you look, smarter than you think and kinder than you say.